Best Diana Krall Concert Ever

Kelly and Eric: Accident Prone Adventure Seekers

We do tend to have a misadventure from time to time. That's okay. For two people who go out on the town as much as we do, we are bound to have plans go awry occasionally. It's a matter of probability.

There was the time we paid full price admission to Denver Elitch Gardens Amusement Park to get caught in a thunderstorm after having only enjoyed one ride. Then there was the other time we went to Elitch Gardens and got caught in a thunder and hail storm while standing in line for the Ferris wheel. We don't intend to return to Elitch Gardens anytime soon--not without checking the weather forecast first--and believing it, anyway.

Then there was the time we were denied entry on to Fort Carson Army base while searching for the Godfather's Pizza restaurant...and the time we went to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo on New Year's Day in sub-zero weather....

Kelly: Big Diana Krall Fan

When I found out several months ago that the jazz vocalist Diana Krall was coming to Denver, I jumped at the chance to purchase tickets, for she is one of Kelly's favorite singers. (Kelly being a former professional singer herself--that is a big deal.) The tickets were expensive but that was okay, it was a special occasion. I purchased the tickets and soon forgot about them.

The outdoor amphitheatre Fiddler's Green was named Coors Amphitheatre but has since reclaimed its original name--like five years ago.

Coors and Wells Fargo are two different corporations.

Eric: A Rare Underdeveloped Plan

Having confused which corporate sponsor had attached their name to Fiddler's Green temporarily, and being ignorant of the fact that such was no longer the case, I convinced myself that Diana Krall was playing at Fiddler's Green. That made sense to Kelly and me; what better place for a jazz pianist to perform: under the stars in an outdoor venue? With that bit of false information firmly entrenched in our minds, we eagerly counted the weeks and days until our fantastic date night arrived.

On the morning of Saturday, August 1, I finally printed out my e-Tickets and laid them on the table by the back door. I was ready! I never even looked at them.

I didn't even have a pre-concert dinner location picked out. "Let's just play it by ear," I remember saying.

A Rough Crowd

Even though we were an hour early to the concert, we were surprised at the large number of people thronging toward Fiddler's Green. We were obligated to park ten blocks away. While walking in, we noticed an unusual number of shady-looking people scalping tickets. That should have tipped us off that something was wrong, but it didn't.

We arrived at the front gates waiting for entry, and noticed an unusual number of Harley Davidson t-shirts, tube-tops, short-shorts, and flip-flops. We also saw an unusual number of smoking, beer-guzzling rowdy concert goers for a vocal jazz concert. That should have tipped us off that something was wrong, but it didn't.

The friendly event staff attempted to scan our tickets but they did not scan. Three gate attendants looked at our tickets and waved their PDA thingys at them, but they would not scan. So they ripped off the barcodes of each and eventually allowed us entry. That should have tipped us off that something was wrong, but it didn't.

If your ticket doesn't scan at the front gate, somebody needs to ask why.

Who is that on Stage?

Kelly and I milled toward the stadium with the big, unruly crowd of beer drinking people who were shuffling to their seats. None of the signs directing patrons to their seats seemed to match our tickets, but we went with the flow anyway. That should have tipped us off that something was wrong, but it didn't.

We passed another turnstile attendant who looked at our tickets and allowed us passage. Finally we entered the theatre, only to find our ears assailed by a hard rocking band that looked suspiciously like ZZ Top. ZZ Top opening for jazz artist Diana Krall? It's possible. That should have tipped us off that something was wrong, but it didn't.

ZZ Top does not open for Diana Krall. They open for Aerosmith.

We crossed the length of the amphitheatre, getting more and more confused, never really finding any section that was labeled like our tickets. We finally gave up and asked an usher in a bright yellow jacket where our section was located. She told us we were at the wrong concert. We asked if we were there on the wrong night. She said no, we were at the wrong venue.

THAT tipped us off that something was wrong.

Fiddler's Green Amphitheatre used to be called Coors Amphitheatre and it's not the same place as Wells Fargo Theatre.

A Hasty Exit

While I threw a mini temper tantrum, contemplating the anguishing possibility of losing $200 and wasting an eagerly anticipated night of jazz music, Kelly calmly asked a bemused security guard where Wells Fargo Theatre and the nearest exit were. He told us that the theatre was "somewhere downtown."

Kelly and I made our hasty retreat. The gate attendant we slunk past was helpful to remind us that no re-entry was allowed. Were we sure we wanted to leave?

Pretty sure.

Want to Buy a Ticket?

As we briskly and frantically returned to our Jeep, we were continually assailed by scalpers wanting to purchase our tickets. Boy, were we tempted. Sure! Two tickets for $100 each....

While we were walking, I Googled "Wells Fargo Theatre" on Kelly's iPhone and came up with an address of 700 14th Ave in Denver. I looked at the map; it appeared to be in Denver's Capitol Hill neighborhood. No problem.

The drive to downtown Denver from Greenwood Village was tense for me, as I was embarrassed by my faux pas. Kelly kept her good humor and tried to keep me calm. We'd get there in time, she said. But it was five minutes to the scheduled concert's start time of eight o'clock as we flew up I-25.

Despite my frustrated state of mind, I navigated Denver's maze of one-way streets and found the last possible street-side parking space a block away from the 700-block of 14th Avenue in Capitol Hill--just like a laser guided missile. We got out of the Jeep and walked.

When we arrived at 14th Ave and Washington Street, our confusion returned. There was nothing there resembling a concert hall--a few ramshackle apartment buildings, a one-hundred-year-old church, a community center. The famous Fillmore Auditorium was a block away, but that wasn't it.

There is no theatre in the 700-block of 14th Avenue in Denver.

This is a Nightmare!

This was getting worse by the minute! Where were we supposed to be? I called directory assistance for help. The operator was confused for a while too, but eventually came up with a number for us. The number connected me with the Colorado Convention Center. Colorado Convention Center? I looked down at Kelly's iPhone again. I scrolled down on the Google Maps page I was looking at and freaked out. This is what I saw:

A user had written a comment on the map page offering some helpful information: the map was wrong...Wells Fargo Theatre was on 14th Street...LoDo! The Colorado Convention Center!

Google Maps are not always accurate.

14th Street and 14th Avenue are not the same thing.

Fashionably Late, Woefully Underdressed

Back to the Jeep we went.

Luckily the trip from Capitol Hill to LoDo was quick and direct for someone who knows downtown Denver like the back of his hand. We parked at the Convention Center Parking garage, but took the wrong elevator and had to walk the long way around on the street to the theatre entrance. We were starting to feel like we were trapped in a Twilight Zone episode.

We made it to the front door, but by that time we were tired, sweaty, and panting from exertion and stress, but at least we were finally in the right place.

We presented our bedraggled, torn tickets to the gate attendants, walked to the back of the theater, let ourselves in, and found an usher. We fully expected to be stopped and denied entry at any point. However, the usher we found cheerfully led us to our section and row inside the beautiful Wells Fargo Theatre. Our seats were in the middle of our row of course, and we had to walk past several annoyed looking patrons.

Finally we sat in our seats, sweaty, hot, and dressed in jeans surrounded by a sea of concert goers dressed in evening gowns and suits. But we made it! Forty minutes late, but we salvaged the night and settled in to listen to a delightful evening of Diana Krall singing with her jazz trio band. Kelly and I gave each other a high-five and sat back with smirks on our faces.

Never give up when two $100 concert tickets are on the line.

In Sickness and in Health... and Everything Else

I truly was mortified and upset throughout most of the episode, because I did not want to let Kelly down. But to her credit she never blamed me, nor let me blame myself. That's what makes us special together. Sometimes life is more fun when adventures don't go according to plan.

This was definitely a night to remember. At least for once there was no hailstorm involved. Perhaps the most exciting part was that Elvis was in the building (Diana Krall's husband, Elvis Costello)!

Next Adventure: We plan to use our free admission ticket to the Comedy Works (since everything we do is a comedy anyway...). Stay tuned.