Eric, an expert at love and relationships after having been twice married--the second marriage going strong after one whole year--thinks he has the secret to Valentine's day figured out. See if you agree.
Clueless Husbands Rejoice: Valentine's Day Decoded
Men, in case you haven't noticed, Valentine's Day is mere weeks away. For those of you who have noticed, I'm sure you are deep into planning right now, trying to execute the most original, thoughtful event possible. You want to show your woman you care by giving her a creative, innovative gift.
Stop!
You can cease all the hand-wringing and expensive shopping right now. I have the solution that will solve Valentine's Day for the rest of your lives and allow you to breathe a sigh of relief and concentrate on more important things, like the Super Bowl.
All women want for Valentine's is a heart-shaped box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers. Evidently, innovation is not appreciated on this particular holiday. Women don't want that on February 14th.
Gloriosky!
Who knew?! Everything I thought I understood about women may have flown out the door when I discovered this. I have been avoiding clichés my whole life, thinking they were bad for relationships. Therefore, consider yourself empowered to stop railing on what a pain Valentine's Day is and just go with what's expected of you.
Of course, I have this information on the most reliable of sources, my dearly beloved wife, whose authority on the matter I trust implicitly. However, I might have considered these thoughts unique to her had they not been corroborated by another important source: my mother-in-law. Yikes.
Rest easy. Don't panic. Get yourself down to the grocery store with the rest of the masses on your way home from work on February 14th and purchase the above mentioned items. (A card would be a nice touch, too--above and beyond the call.) Save your deep and thoughtful WOW gifts for holidays that really count like Christmas, birthdays, and Groundhog Day. Let's see, now when is my anniversary . . . ?
Don't forget to make dinner reservations.
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