A Change in Attitude
I am a Honda owner in recovery. I confess this freely. Fuel economy; reliability; graceful, precise operation; the solid, satisfying thunk! of the doors when they closed: all were addicting attributes of my old Honda, and I was hooked. I never won any style points while driving it but at least my carbon footprint was fashionably small.
As best as I can remember, in the eight years I owned that vehicle, nothing broke that wasn't my fault. Rear-ending that mini-van? Unfortunately, I have to take the blame for that. Driving through the Colorado mountains with no motor oil? That's another story; but that's on me, too. Besides those two incidents, I experienced 160,000 miles of problem-free bliss. I convinced myself I would never own a car other than a Honda for the rest of my life.
What changed my mind? Enter my 1991 Jeep Wrangler YJ. The rest, as they say . . . is a Jeep thing. Therefore, I offer the following reasons for why owning a Jeep is a key step to recovering from boring car addiction. (Come back later and find out why I got my YJ in the first place in my future article entitled Find Yourself by Searching for Others)
Camaraderie
Owning a Jeep provides camaraderie with other drivers. The first thing I observed when driving around in my newly acquired Jeep is that you are automatically noticed by other Jeep owners. It's an instant fraternity. Pass another Jeep on the road and you get the wave. Usually this is little more than a slight nod or a barely noticeable finger twitch--but it exists nonetheless. Yeah, I've got people, now!
There are rules about this wave thing, however. The more subtle, the better, as mentioned. Also, I have noticed an implicit hierarchy in this ritual. For example, it seems you should only wave at a driver whose Jeep is equal to or better than yours. Typically this means taller, dirtier, more stuff attached, or with more fenders removed.
Nobody notices a Honda or Toyota driver. You are just one of millions who mindlessly chose safe, reliable, efficient cars that don't possess an ounce of panache. How boring! Get noticed. Be part of the club.
Character Building
Owning a Jeep builds character. When your Honda has a problem, like an unexplainable noise or rattle, you race to your dealer for service. An army of helpful technicians pounce on you to fix your car. They desperately seek to prove that Honda's reputation for quality is well-deserved and easily defended. What is the emotional value of that? Life is not always perfect and nobody else in this world is at your beck and call. There is nothing to gain, here.
Jeeps are full of unexplained noises, on the other hand: squeaks, rattles, pings, and things that go bump on the road. How do you know, then, when a new noise represents a problem for your vehicle? It takes skilled discernment and finely honed powers of observation. If you do not have these important skills before acquiring your Jeep, you soon will.
Finally, convincing an auto technician you have a problem builds character because they will not believe you. "Your Jeep makes a noise?" they ask you with disdain. "They are supposed to make noises. Don't bother me." It takes a lot of persistence and self-confidence to stand your ground and state without flinching that the sound you hear today wasn't there yesterday and it surely means the front axle will fall off if you drive one mile more. Be strong.
Creativity Development
Jeep owners love nothing more than to place their own creative stamp on their vehicle. Jeeps are like the graffiti of the automotive art world and one of the most customized vehicles on the road. Each artist paints with bold strokes using brushes like bigger tires, lift kits, upgraded axles, and diamond plating purchased with glee until their bank accounts run dry.
I love looking at other people's Jeeps to see what they have done and get ideas for myself. I've become an aficionado of tires--I love guessing what size tires another Jeep has. It drives my wife crazy when I go wandering off in a parking lot for no apparent reason. Then she finds me standing in front of another Jeep, like a moth attracted to flame. "Those have got to be 33's!" I gush. Oh, brother.
Included in my list of recent upgrades are front and rear bumpers, tires, and springs, etc. I am beautifying the world with my mobile artwork as I drive around my neighborhood. I also have replaced the seat belts, electrical wiring, clutch, fuel line, and gears in the front differential. What's creative about those apparently necessary parts, you ask?
Good question. The creativity is in figuring out how to pay for those parts, and in arranging to borrow a vehicle to drive for a month while your beloved Jeep stays with Pep Boys. Typically, for me, this is my father-in-law's Ford pickup truck. It's bigger than the Wrangler--darn it!--but not as cool.
Manhood
After purchasing a Jeep, I secretly wish I had studied something useful in school like auto mechanics. Jeeps just beg to be worked on by do-it-yourself owners. Mine seems relatively simple; I can identify most of the parts inside and out by name. I have ventured into the area of DIY repairs with my Jeep and discovered that few things are as fun as working on it myself.
Nothing makes a guy feel more self-important than working on his vehicle out in the garage. Once, I removed the front drive shaft to isolate an axle problem (one of those mysterious noise things). This was astonishingly easy to do. I was so exulted that I brandished the shaft above my head like a spear, dancing to imaginary drum beats reverberating inside my head. I have also begun to change my oil myself; I like to paint black stripes of the stuff on my face like war paint right before I clean up the mess I made on the garage floor. Now that's a manhood only a Jeep can cultivate.
Fiscal Responsibility
Jeep Wranglers will not win any fuel-efficiency awards. Gas stations are like black holes for Jeeps. You can't drive past one without getting sucked into its vortex of gravity. I bought my Jeep just in time for a 50 percent increase in gas prices, while simultaneously taking a 60 percent decrease in fuel economy over my Honda. By my calculations, that represents a 3,000 percent increase in gasoline bills. No problem.
Because you spend so much money on gasoline, financial restraint in other areas of life is a must. This teaches you prudence and helps you become more responsible with your money. You find yourself examining all aspects of your spending and asking yourself what you really value--clothing, food, housing. Who needs them?
Freedom
You can go anywhere in your Jeep. Do you think those people in their Mercedes M-Series really want to go off-roading? Enough said. I also look forward to weather these days, instead of dreading it. I have taken to driving about aimlessly during snowstorms, looking for that poor, hapless Corolla driver stuck in a ditch that I can rescue with my never-been-used winch--sigh, maybe someday.
Conclusion
This article proves the wisdom of taking advantage of everything a Jeep has to offer. Give up your safe, addicting car--your Honda or Toyota . . . your Subaru. Find your freedom; be a man; change your attitude. It only costs a ton of money, but you gain so much in return.
No worries: it's a Jeep thing.
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