Do you and your wife want to author a book or start a writing business? Count yourself lucky if you or your husband have a great idea, even luckier if you both possess the writing skills to translate ideas to paper. Married to your co-author? That sounds like an exciting possibility. Yes; however, you may experience pitfalls that could test the goodwill of any partnership, let alone a marriage. You can avoid these traps by observing the following well-earned bits of advice.
Offer feedback promptly. If your wife slaves for two days writing a chapter for your current project and leaves it sitting expectantly on your desk, do not waste time before reading it. Do not watch three football games, go off-roading in your Jeep, and take a nap. Worse yet, review it then neglect to tell her that you did so. Reading your wife's work and offering timely feedback shows you respect her writing as much as you do her efforts. It also reduces the number of times you have to hear, "Have you read it, yet?"
The first word equals the last word. Whoever commits the first draft to paper should also have the last say on the final draft. Only that person knows exactly what was in his or her mind at the time of writing and can say whether their original vision has been maintained. For example, if the first draft of an article you wrote discusses psychic principles while the second draft, after your husband edited it, discusses the breeding of alpacas, you can be sure the reader will notice a lack of continuity.
Pick your moments carefully. Know when to stop and let the work rest before critiquing a piece together. This can be especially important on a Friday afternoon right before date night. You never know when a small disagreement about punctuation can disintegrate into a full-blown argument about restrictive clauses. Also, be very careful to leave hanging participles out of the bedroom.
Be discrete. Try not to sigh too much when proofreading your spouse's draft. If he or she is in the same room, this is especially important. Neither should you make a big flourish about reaching for the grammar book or the Chicago Manual of Style. Discretion is preferred, here. Writing a lot of notes in the margins can be stressful to the author, too, and cause many nervous sidelong glances your way. Instead, you will probably do well to go find a dark corner of the basement to do your edits. This will cause less anxiety for everyone.
Always offer alternates. When proofreading a sentence your husband wrote, do not simply say, "I don't like it." Remember, the idea that's already on paper is better than nothing. Have an alternate phrase in mind before yelling, "This sucks!" Men have fragile egos; chances are, in a few days, he'll believe your idea was his anyway, and all will be smoothed over. This is his version of a comma splice.
Wait twenty-four hours. Writing is an intensely personal activity that often requires emotionally draining efforts. Pausing a day before giving up your work to your spouse for critiquing gives you a breather and helps you mentally step away from your work. This way, you won't be quite so offended when your beloved spouse (and editor) says, "Um, not your best effort, here . . . ."
Remember the love. Even though you technically are business partners and collaborators, don't forget the marriage license came before the articles of incorporation. Don't overuse that business tone of voice with your wife--it won't earn you a seat next to her in front of the fireplace anytime soon, and you'll be misplacing your pronouns all over the place.
Praise before criticism. Make sure all criticism is constructive. Better yet, praise something about your spouse's writing before pointing out the flaws. If you can't find something positive in the current document draft, don't panic. Go read it again. If you still can't find anything positive, then you can start to panic.
Don't see red. Discuss beforehand your opinions regarding the color red. Some people find it cheery and easy to read on their manuscript mark-ups. Other people find it oppressing and eerily reminiscent of that teacher who marked all over your essays with red ink in the sixth grade. This is extremely important to discuss before proofreading a document with your spouse, especially if it's before date night.
Two heads are better than one. Finally, remember that the pros of writing together with your spouse outweigh the cons. Each concept, idea, sentence, and paragraph receives the benefit of being reviewed by two talented people whose passion for each other also finds its way to the page. Collaborating with your spouse as a business partner and co-author will always keep your marriage vital and interesting. Plus, you'll always have something to talk about on date nights--provided you haven't just had a verb argument.
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